(Written June 27, 2014)

Six years ago tonight I fell asleep on the floor of my mom's family room in Provo, Utah, while my sisters watched Better Off Ted and made fun of me. What else is new? 

The next day changed my life forever.

I got married.

Six years later I sit alone in my apartment in Florida, contemplating all that has transpired in the past six years and how I got where I am today. I graduated from BYU with my bachelor's degree, from Michigan with my masters, and I'm presently working on a doctorate at Florida State (ABD!). I've lived in four different states, worked in six, and applied/auditioned for a bunch of jobs I didn't get and a few I did.

But I also came to another life-changing realization: I've suffered with depression and anxiety for most of my life; I realized that I needed help. Unfortunately, it took a handful of life-changing events over the past three years to get me in to see a good psychiatrist and therapist. I won't mention them all, but I will mention two.

1) Trouble in Paradise

As a result of my depression in part, my marriage suffered. We lost the ability to communicate effectively and we grew apart. Eventually, we decided that we should separate to focus on taking care of our mental health. The divorce was finalized on July 31, 2013. It was the most amicable breakup I have ever experienced, and I still have nothing but love and respect for Katie. I don't know what the future holds for our friendship, or if that's even a possibility, but I have the utmost respect for her and wish her the best. She is an amazing woman and will do great things.

I have been in therapy for a little over a year and have come face-to-face with many of my demons. I won't lie; it's been tough. Perhaps the most difficult thing I have ever experienced. But of the few things in life I know, I know I am in a much better place today than I was a year ago at this time.

2) Leadership Roulette

While my then-wife and I were experiencing trouble in paradise, I was serving in my local LDS ward (congregation) in the bishopric as the ward clerk. When things got really hard at home I requested to be released from my responsibilities at church.

Unfortunately, our bishop was brand new to his calling and quite young. In this conversation I also expressed some questions and doubts about my faith and mentioned that that was another reason I felt I should step away from the bishopric and focus on my marriage and my faith.

This was not received well. Because of my concerns and desires to better myself before I felt like I could effectively serve in the Church, this bishop asked me to turn in my temple recommend. While, ultimately, he allowed me to keep it, he did say that he or his connections in town would be monitoring our behavior, and that if we did anything wrong he would call us back in. I was hurt (a life-long member with pioneer heritage, returned missionary, temple-married, etc), and from that moment I have not felt welcome in my local ward family. In that moment, and many since then, I have felt judged by other members of the faith community because I think differently than many of them.

But I have a great group of friends--both in person and in my online networks--who have helped me realize that my depression does not have to define me.

Now, I don't say all of this seeking sympathy or praise or anything like that.

I do, however, want to articulate two points:

1) Just because people may seem alright on the outside doesn't mean that they're totally cool on the inside. Mental illness affects every one of us, either within yourself or by watching those you love suffer.

If you have any mental health issues, seek help. There is no weakness in admitting you need help. Do not allow the best things in your life to be taken from you as a result of your illness.

2) We need to treat people the way we ourselves would like to be treated. As my current trumpet professor and mentor told me once, "Everybody deserves respect."

No matter where you are in life, no matter what you believe, no matter what you find important, we all deserve respect. We all have our own adventure to discover, and just because another person chooses a different path, choosing instead to blaze their own trail, does not make it the wrong path. I think it is a true sign of respect and love--I dare say the truest sign of respect and love--to support people we don't agree with as they work to achieve their goals.

Be patient. Give the benefit of the doubt. Love.